Well, another thought experiment has landed courtesy of Saving Ninja.
What would you do if you knew with absolute certainty that you would die in exactly 10 years time. It doesn’t matter how you know this or what you will die of; in 3652 days you will drop dead.
Hmmm...what I would immediately do is eerily similar to what I would do if I won £1 million.
So if I want DH to have a secure financial future, I have to endure a horrendous long and drawn out painful death
unless I can figure out a way to discreetly top myself. Difficult to be discreet about these things if you are incapacitated and need care. And what if they
mistakenly think DH has done me in? It doesn’t bear thinking about.
This has been an interesting exercise for me so thank you to Saving Ninja for that. As much as I think I am in control, life has a habit of showing me I'm not. I had never considered what would happen if I had a long drawn-out illness. In my mind, I have always just died suddenly and so my preparations have been based on that.
I guess I have some more planning to do.
What would you do if you knew with absolute certainty that you would die in exactly 10 years time. It doesn’t matter how you know this or what you will die of; in 3652 days you will drop dead.
Hmmm...what I would immediately do is eerily similar to what I would do if I won £1 million.
I would tell no-one...husband...hotel...scream…swear to secrecy…
Why the secrecy? I've no problem with Dh's feelings and opinions, but other people's? No. I don't want to know. Once people find out I have a terminal illness, from then on every comment or opinion on my life choices would be couched in terms of the illness, and they will be mostly negative. I would get 'The Look', the 'Poor You' pitying look that I absolutely despise. And of course there are those who could only focus on the terrible impact my news has on them. I have one of 'those' people in the family. You know the ones I mean, I'm sure.
So, what I would do would depend on whether I was
dropping dead at a specific hour in 10 years or winding down in health until incapacitated
and dribbling.
Dropping
dead at a specific hour
Really, 10 years to live is too long to contemplate
stopping work. I would carry on working for five years to secure DH's financial
future, but I would change the destination from where I would do this. I would persuade my DH with everything
I could muster to live abroad in the sun with me. I only need a laptop to work and
I only pop into work once a month now, which is doable. I'm sure DH could pick up some work to bring in a few pounds here and there. There is a great deal of difference doing
an eight hour day in, say, Spain than doing the same hours in England. I would
invite BIL to come and live in the house for a low rent to look after MIL and keep an eye on
the place. He’s currently renting and would probably appreciate the security.
In five years, I would look at cutting down work
to 2-3 days per week. Still saving though.
With two-years to go I would give up work
completely and go travelling on the savings with DH.
Before the appointed hour, we would return to the
UK so I can drop dead here and be cremated. We already have life insurance
policies so that would pay off the house, leaving DH with various pensions and
the cars as assets after I die.
Health
winding down
Ditto for the first five years except I would make
sure that I would live in the most advantageous climate for the management of
my health problem. After five years I would look at either cutting down to
part-time or give it up completely to do some travelling for a year or two.
When it was obvious it was becoming too difficult to manage any more, I would
then be presented with the most appalling decision.
I want to toddle off to Dignitas in Switzerland to
ensure a painless death. I do not want to die in this country as the welfare services
for the chronically ill and/or incapacitated are not good. We have the Liverpool
Care Pathway, which is inhumane and nothing more than legalised torture. We treat
animals better than we treat the terminally ill. We’re not terribly logical or
civilised in this country.
However, if I take my own life our insurance
policies would, unfortunately, be null and void. There is no payout for suicide.
DH would be left with a mortgage.
This has been an interesting exercise for me so thank you to Saving Ninja for that. As much as I think I am in control, life has a habit of showing me I'm not. I had never considered what would happen if I had a long drawn-out illness. In my mind, I have always just died suddenly and so my preparations have been based on that.
I guess I have some more planning to do.
Here are a few other bloggers' views on this thought experiment:
