Brisbane Susan asked me a couple of posts ago how things were going with my mental health. The way out of my mid-life crisis seems to be a long slow old process of peeling back decades of behaviours that no longer serve me and finding out who I am and what I enjoy. Changing those situations and relationships that hold me back and/or won't allow me to be myself or try to drag me into ways of reacting I don't like is not a quick process. If I want lasting change it has to be that way. I have to unlearn and relearn.
There's an awful lot of people out there who want to pull others in to their dramas, and during lockdown there is a hell of a lot more drama than normal to fall foul of. I find social media has a lot to answer for in that respect, which is why I have a limited presence on any platform. I have a Facebook account with no friends (nor will I accept any requests) - it is purely there to allow me to follow a couple of smallholders who breed animals I'm interested in. I don't have a Twitter account and I have pretty much abandoned Instagram, except to see my sister's posts. I don't bother with online news portals as they have a vested interest in posting appallingly negative and 'click bait' stories. Pintrest just makes me feel dissatisfied, so no more of that. I've become more resilient over the months at resisting this negative stuff.
The only two platforms I spend any time on are Youtube and Reddit, and I have orientated my home feeds on both towards uplifting material focused on simple living, learning and growth. I don't read or leave comments. This deliberate elimination of the most pervasive and damaging negative elements in my life has meant I'm feeling better about myself than I have done for a long time. But I still have some way to go. I still have some odd days where I am utterly drained and feel completely useless (not related to anything lockdown) from the moment I reluctantly open my eyes and on those days I have established an emergency routine that I know works for me.
The first thing I do is NOT post on a social media platform or text anyone about how crap I feel, as responding to the deluge of comments that will come back could produce a negative spiral and drag me down a rabbit hole for hours. I do not want a sympathetic discussion with the 'ain't life awful' brigade', who seem to pop up at a moment's notice whenever there's a whiff of you feeling a bit down. I don't talk to anyone how I feel, apart from mentioning to Martin when he comes in that I've had a bad start to the day.
The next thing I do is refuse to give in to it, and definitely not lie down and sleep! I don't do 'a duvet day' because this depressive funk can go on for days at a time. A duvet day can become a duvet week. I drag myself into cleaning and organising - I'm someone who likes to see the visible benefits of effort expended so upgrading my surroundings has an immediate effect.
I really have to push myself to start, and that first step is awful. I begin with something very small, like wiping down a worksurface or washing up a used cat's food bowl, and build up from there. Sometimes there are a few minutes between tasks and I just stand there, drink tea and look out of the kitchen window while my brain rolls around screaming at itself, but eventually that passes and I move on. I take bucket loads of Vitamins C and B complex and make sure I eat small regularly spaced out protein meals throughout the day. At some point a walk or a ride on the exercise bike happens while watching the latest episode of a series I'm following on Prime, usually after lunch, and that's followed by a hot shower and a bit of TLC (body lotion, face mask, perfume, make-up, etc). I take the time to make a nice meal later that day, something I wouldn't ordinarily do because it takes time and effort. At about 9pm I drink a night-time herbal tea concoction and take a vitamin C and magnesium pill before going to sleep.
If I do this routine I know I've done the most I can to set myself up for a better day tomorrow. And it usually is.
I love these comments. Your handling of social media mirrors my own choices. I too am a great YouTube fan and I just love the richness and variety out there of positive and uplifting videos. I recently culled my Facebook ‘friends’ by over half. I seemed to have collected 346 people and only a handful of those I could honestly call true friends. I rarely comment and only occasionally read comments on other posts. I am always surprised at how easily I am triggered by negativity comments and the temptation is to respond. So I just leave that section well alone. You are making some very positive and healthy choices there and I commend you.
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