31 No Spend Days

About a month ago I decided to stop spending money on anything that wasn't absolutely essential. The holiday and solar panels had depleted the old coffers so I thought a bit of a money diet for March would be a good way to kick off the process of building them back up again.

For 31 days I put my head down and focused on making do with what we had.

I didn't need any clothes, books, magazines or bric-a-brac so charity shopping ceased and my Amazon account had tumbleweed blowing through it.

I haven't been to the garden centre to buy soil (as I usually do at this time of year) and end up with about 20 other things in the basket as well.

When I went grocery shopping, I bought the usual foods on the list I always do along with cat food and a bit of cleaning stuff. No ingredients for complicated aspirational recipes, no interesting shampoos promising hair nirvana. I kept it plain and simple, and left a lot of stuff on the shelf.

When we went to B&Q we bought the one thing we needed and left. No "Ooooo it would be handy to have one of those" and coming out £30 lighter. We realised that we have no idea exactly what we have in the tool barn any more so no more buying anything DIY-related until we have an inventory of what is in there.

So, I reached my 31 NSD yesterday and did a ready reckoner this morning. I estimate we've not spent about £500, which is incredible really. Looking through past bills I can honestly say that I've spent too much money in charity shops by going each week just before food shopping, and none of it could be considered strictly necessary. The stuff I've considered necessary and non-luxuries, mostly household or garden purchases, has added up to hundreds of pounds every month. Bags of compost are hardly luxury purchases. Neither are LED light bulbs, shoe inserts, plumbing tools, new hankies, or replacement tea towels but all of these non-luxuries were not planned and building up every month to quite astonishing levels.

It's clear that I'm going to have to have a rethink about what we spend our money on and when. We got through this month of non-spending fine, it wasn't a stretch by any means. It wasn't difficult to wear the clothes I have, find a book to read from the dozens still waiting on the shelves to be read, eat tasty non-aspirational foods and maintain clean hair that looked the same as it always has. So maybe the way we spend money needs looking at again. We need to break the habit of buying without thinking. We need to use up what we have and then get much more creative when we so need something before we go out and buy it.

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Steel Kitten

Closing the loops thanks to The Happiness Project

While I was away, I found an interesting book in a charity shop called The Happiness Project, by Gretchen Rubin. It appears that this was quite a big thing when it came out back in 2009 but as I don't tend to read newspapers, go on social media, watch TV much or listen to the radio I completely missed it. I completely miss most things but I work on the basis that if they are important to me I will find out about them when the time is right, and that seems to work quite well.

Basically, Gretchen Rubin committed to 12 months of finding ways to be happier. Like all people she was ok, but she felt she was coasting a bit and had fallen into a rut. She could be a bit happier but wasn't sure how so she took an aspect of her life every month and made 4-5 resolutions to do better. I hadn't come across that idea before - normally everyone makes their resolutions in January and is over them by March.

Among the many, many resolutions I found interesting (and I will probably blog about later) was identifying and resolving unfinished projects. I always have a silly number of those but lately I had begun to feel overwhelmed by the sheer number of 'open loops' that were occupying my brain. Every 'commitment' not completed is an open loop that is tracked and takes up a lot of mental energy being remembered. Then there is the damage to my self-esteem caused by beating myself up about not having done them. I'll admit, I'm not the greatest finisher in the world and I frequently suffer from being 'mentally drained' due to the ever-growing to-do list I hold in my head and the 'tellings off' I give myself over it all.

So, I sat down with a journal and downloaded everything in my brain that was an open loop. Then I started getting some of them off there. For example, this is the Technology list, and crossed off is what I've achieved since coming back off holiday:

Technology
Find an app for logging receipts and reporting spending categories DONE
Fix Macbook or have hard drive removed for storage DONE. FIXED
Fix Apple wireless keypad DONE. BATTERY LEAK CLEANED UP. NOW WORKING.
Fix iPod DONE. HARD RESET REQUIRED
Fix Black and Decker handheld vacuum DONE
Sell off handheld voice recorders that are no longer needed for freelance work DONE
Buy additional back up drives for photos DONE
Go through old phones, remove pictures and recycle phones
Donate/throw out any cables from items we no longer own.
Organise my photos across all devices and back up
Print out and display the ones we love the most AUSTRALIA PHOTOS DONE, NEXT IS OUR WEDDING PHOTOS (ONLY 13 YEARS AFTER THE FACT)
Convert vintage non-working clocks to battery CANNOT DO, WILL RUIN CLOCKS
Clear out work inbox (5.5k emails!)
Clear out personal inbox (3.5k emails!)
Unsubscribe to everything I don't want to receive emails for WORK IN PROGRESS
Transfer my Typepad blog into yearly ebooks to print on demand, a year per month ONE YEAR OF 13 DONE

I've got similar lists for Smallholding, Household and Health to work through this year. Some of the lists are long but relatively quick, such as tossing 'aspirational' clutter (cough...exercise equipment...cough), others are much more involved and depend on external factors, like repointing the barns where the masonry bees have done damage, which needs good weather.

The Happiness Project is worth a read if only to demonstrate that others have the same challenges as we do. I lost count of the number of times I thought "Yeh, I do that/think that/have that." We are not alone :)

You can read the first chapter here.

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Steel Kitten

Committing to better health

My last post talked about my recent epiphany about commitment, specifically my lack of it with regards to smallholding. Realising I was coasting with one foot in our life here was disappointing; I always thought I was braver than that. Sadly, as I expanded my reflection I saw this lack of commitment in almost every area of my life, most notably my physical strength.

In the New Year I realised smallholding tasks were difficult and tiring; my muscular strength is waning due to years of inactivity. I've been saying for years that one day I would go back to weight-training to lose weight and help my bones stay strong as I age. I have accumulated a nice set of DVDs and cheap equipment from charity shops to work out at home but after one or two sessions I've fallen by the wayside, or triggered a pain response in a muscle or joint so stopped. 

I realised that despite saying one day I would sort it out, I wasn't doing anything and the years were passing by. I remember saying to myself I would do it in time for my 40th birthday. I'm now 46. It occurred to me that while I spend a lot of time poring over investing information for my financial future, I couldn't even find a few hours a week to invest in my health future, yet if I develop a long-term illness it could have a devastating impact on our finances. 

I realised that nothing would change unless I got seriously committed to the task and tried something different. What I was doing over and over again wasn't working. Insanity is repeating the same mistakes and expecting different results. So, the first thing I did was admit I was fooling myself if I thought I would work out properly at home. Some people can, but clearly I'm not one of them (as evidenced by the dust bunnies accumulating on my exercise equipment). I decided not to lie to myself anymore and get to the gym. Back at uni I had a great routine down - I would run and weight train three times a week on alternate days and rest on Sundays. I enjoyed the discipline of going to the gym, the wide range of equipment, and the challenge of finding ways to incrementally improve myself. I had also paid my subs for the month and was going to get maximum use out of them!

The gym I now wanted to join was quite cheap at £17 a month, with a huge range of equipment and a separate ladies gym, plus trainers on hand offering free advice. Great stuff and it was a short drive away. And that's when I realised there was another issue to address first.

I passed my driving test in 2016, nearly 10 years after I first started, and since that day I haven't driven. I have walked into town, despite taking nearly 50 minutes, and called it 'exercise' or if too far got a cheap taxi. I have actually used public transport to get into the office, a journey that could take up to four hours first thing in the morning, rather than drive 1hr 40 mins. That's fear for you. If I needed to do something I would find a way other than driving. My fear was verging on phobia.

But this time I couldn't escape from it. The gym was too far to walk, there was no public transport and the trips would be too frequent so taxis would be expensive. I refused to be dishonest enough to persuade a nearby friend or neighbour to go with me just to snaffle free trips in their car (yes, my frightened brain even came up with that one). This was a defining moment. I knew deep down the option of 'committing' to exercising at home would not work so that had to be discounted; that was letting fear rule and besides, if that was going to work it would have worked a long time ago. I was past that now; no point going backwards. I had reached Robert's Frost "two paths diverged in a wood" and one of two things had to happen: I had to drive to the gym or stop being dishonest and give up on the idea of exercising and slob out, take my chances in the health lottery of life without doing anything to put the odds in my favour. The fact that the latter made me feel dreadful showed me the path I needed to take. I decided to commit to getting to the gym by car. 

I booked refresher driving lessons with an instructor that was noted for being good with nervous drivers. After two lessons he told me I was a good driver and didn't want to take  any more of my money from me. The only way I was going to conquer the fear and develop confidence was to get out there and drive. He's a smart cookie and I knew he was right.

My finger marks are probably still on the steering wheel from that first journey on my own three weeks ago; I gripped it so tight my knuckles were white and I talked out loud to myself all the way, but I got to a garden centre and back safely, a journey of 30 minutes. From then on I took it slowly, one trip to do one task and then home. I found the pet shop, the supermarket, the bank, DIY store, my GP, the town library and finally the gym, which I joined. There was a discount for annual membership and, knowing getting my monies worth would keep me going, I paid up front. It worked out at £12.50 a month. I started last week and have thoroughly enjoyed the three sessions so far.

I'm now committed to visiting the gym three times a week for the next 12 months. A trainer has devised a strength-training programme for me, and will check in with me once a week to make sure I'm doing what I have committed to, tweaking the programme as I get stronger. 

I should have done this many years ago I know, but as the old Chinese proverb says:

When is the best time to plant a fruit tree? Twenty years ago. 
When is the second best time to plant a fruit tree? Today.

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Steel Kitten

Making that commitment

I underwent a lot of quiet reflection during our holiday.

We've been here for two years and during this time we have not made any major changes to the smallholding. The plans we had before we moved here revolved around making us as self-reliant as possible by growing our own food and producing our own energy. Smallholding, homesteading, pioneering, that has been a strong interest of mine for many years but I was having problems making it a reality here.

At the point we went on holiday I was drifting, wanting to do more but just not. I've felt a bit like we've been flirting around the edges of smallholding. I keep animals, but only during specific months; I don't keep them year round or breed them. I grow some fruit and veg but not extensively and in any great quantity. I harvest some of the existing fruit from the trees but not in any great quantity. We have wood burners but buy in logs instead of sustainably harvesting from our own property and finding free logs. We have a funky old (probably useless) well and plenty of roof space that yields thousands of litres of rainwater and sunshine every year yet we pay full whack for mains water and electricity. 

It took until almost the end of the holiday, nearly three weeks away from normality, for the penny to drop. Being interested in something is not being committed to it. For a long time at the old house I was interested but not committed to living well there because I never considered it my home. We bought the old house with the intention to renovate and move on within a couple of years but we got caught by the recession and ended up living there for 11. We decorated it with sale in mind, keeping colours neutral and never quite unleashing our creativity. Everything was done with The Sale in mind. I got used to being interested in how much I could make but not committed to living in the house and I brought that here with me.

There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when it's convenient. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses - only results.

KEN BLANCHARD

I haven't allowed myself to emotionally attach to this place, I'm still not committed to it. I'm not psychologically invested and this has translated into taking the minimal actions I need to maintain the smallholding, I haven't been putting in the daily effort needed to develop and deepen my commitment. I couldn't see it while knee deep in daily life here, I needed that time away to develop that perspective.

So, when we got back I took a look around. I actually do love this place. The peace, quiet and space, even though I don't always find it easy to live with my MIL which, if I'm honest, has contributed to me feeling unsettled.

I pulled out my plan for the smallholding. By now we should have: 

• a polytunnel in the paddock
• part of the front lawn laid to veg beds with the aim of achieving sufficiency in 90% of our fruit and veg for 5-6 months of year
• increased the energy efficiency inside the house to the maximum possible to try and get us to an EPC rating of B of above (currently D)
• completed some kind of resource generation activity, such as solar panels, a rainwater harvesting system or growing our own biomass to burn to achieve 50% sufficiency in energy. 

So far, all we've done is installed a new efficient boiler outside when the old indoor system became dangerous, and replaced a few halogen bulbs with LED ones when they blew. 

I realised I couldn't make up for lost time but I could make a start. 

Over the last month I found some cheap collar boxes on ebay and have begun arranging them to create an area of raised beds to the side of the house. The small patio garden will get higher beds and more soil. 

Over the last couple of weeks I have expanded the fruit trees in the paddock with raspberries, black, red and white currants, a gooseberry and a couple of tayberry bushes in front of that. All of these either came with us or were bought last year but never planted up.

The fencing is all temporary so I can make changes if necessary, but at some point over the next 12 months permanent stock fencing and a gate will go in. At the moment the chicken pen forms one side of the section, but I'll be moving that back by a pen length and adding a fenced area for chicken scratching. 

Talking of chickens, we now have three new ladies in the chicken pen, who moved in about two weeks ago at the ripe old age of 22 weeks old. They are part of the commitment plan, as they need daily care and attention. 

Finally, solar panels. I've wanted solar power for many years, but have never been able to take that step. Obviously at the old house my lack of commitment to living there wouldn't allow me to make that jump. It's not just the upfront cost but also because you commit to a) being settled in one place for a long time and b) changing your energy usage behaviour, which includes quite close monitoring of the system. A lack of commitment doesn't go hand in hand with having solar panels. 

MIL and I are both here during the day, and we tend to run our household electrical devices then. With solar, we could get quite close to the maximum benefit possible by running all our devices when the panels are generating electricity at the peak times during the day. In addition, there are the Feed-In Tariffs (FITs), which pay a householder with solar panels a small amount of money to generate and export their surplus energy to the grid. It's only about 9-10p a kWh but it is a handy little bit of extra money into the household and is index-linked for 20 years. However, this is coming to an end on 31st March.

I did a few calculations, working out the theoretical return on the money from the panels being drip fed into pensions vs just putting it directly into pensions, and while the panels just nosed ahead they had the added psychological benefit of the satisfaction from producing part of the energy we consume and lowering our bills. How much they lower our bills by is down to us and our consumption habits.

I took a deep breath, did some ringing round and quote gathering and a few days ago we placed an order for a 6kWp system for the south-facing roof of the barns. We're aiming to reduce our electricity bill by 50% through a combination of using what we generate, changing our consumption habits and the FITs. In addition, we decided to have an iBoost fitted to our immersion heater, which is a diverter system that directs a small amount of surplus electricity to our water tank to heat it instead of the boiler firing up. So we estimate that for six months of the year our boiler probably won't be firing at all, which will help lower our annual oil bill. 

So, the solar panels team is coming next week to put the panels up and by next weekend we will be generating some of own power. It's only a small step, but psychologically it feels like the biggest one to date because of the mindset shift that comes with it.

This smallholding is my home and I am committed to it. 

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Steel Kitten