What would you do if you knew with absolute certainty that you would die in exactly 10 years time. It doesn’t matter how you know this or what you will die of; in 3652 days you will drop dead.
Hmmm...what I would immediately do is eerily similar to what I would do if I won £1 million.
I would tell no-one...husband...hotel...scream…swear to secrecy…
Why the secrecy? I've no problem with Dh's feelings and opinions, but other people's? No. I don't want to know. Once people find out I have a terminal illness, from then on every comment or opinion on my life choices would be couched in terms of the illness, and they will be mostly negative. I would get 'The Look', the 'Poor You' pitying look that I absolutely despise. And of course there are those who could only focus on the terrible impact my news has on them. I have one of 'those' people in the family. You know the ones I mean, I'm sure.
So, what I would do would depend on whether I was
dropping dead at a specific hour in 10 years or winding down in health until incapacitated
and dribbling.
Dropping
dead at a specific hour
Really, 10 years to live is too long to contemplate
stopping work. I would carry on working for five years to secure DH's financial
future, but I would change the destination from where I would do this. I would persuade my DH with everything
I could muster to live abroad in the sun with me. I only need a laptop to work and
I only pop into work once a month now, which is doable. I'm sure DH could pick up some work to bring in a few pounds here and there. There is a great deal of difference doing
an eight hour day in, say, Spain than doing the same hours in England. I would
invite BIL to come and live in the house for a low rent to look after MIL and keep an eye on
the place. He’s currently renting and would probably appreciate the security.
In five years, I would look at cutting down work
to 2-3 days per week. Still saving though.
With two-years to go I would give up work
completely and go travelling on the savings with DH.
Before the appointed hour, we would return to the
UK so I can drop dead here and be cremated. We already have life insurance
policies so that would pay off the house, leaving DH with various pensions and
the cars as assets after I die.
Health
winding down
Ditto for the first five years except I would make
sure that I would live in the most advantageous climate for the management of
my health problem. After five years I would look at either cutting down to
part-time or give it up completely to do some travelling for a year or two.
When it was obvious it was becoming too difficult to manage any more, I would
then be presented with the most appalling decision.
I want to toddle off to Dignitas in Switzerland to
ensure a painless death. I do not want to die in this country as the welfare services
for the chronically ill and/or incapacitated are not good. We have the Liverpool
Care Pathway, which is inhumane and nothing more than legalised torture. We treat
animals better than we treat the terminally ill. We’re not terribly logical or
civilised in this country.
However, if I take my own life our insurance
policies would, unfortunately, be null and void. There is no payout for suicide.
DH would be left with a mortgage.
This has been an interesting exercise for me so thank you to Saving Ninja for that. As much as I think I am in control, life has a habit of showing me I'm not. I had never considered what would happen if I had a long drawn-out illness. In my mind, I have always just died suddenly and so my preparations have been based on that.
I guess I have some more planning to do.
Here are a few other bloggers' views on this thought experiment:
Great answer and thank you for taking part! Love the abroad plan. If you'd be happier abroad, and you have the means to do so - what's stopping you from moving now?
ReplyDeleteDH and an elderly MIL who lives with us. It would need to be something large, final and 'understandable' to both of them to precipitate the move. DH currently has his barns and is happy pootling with his cars so only something of this order of magnitude would persuade him to change. Sad, but true. I have already expressed a desire to spend a month of so away in a hot country during the winter when he retires so it may be that our impending holiday to Oz in January will show him what he is missing.
DeleteInteresting that your initial reaction will be the same as the lottery win, but it makes sense.
ReplyDeleteIn my mind, I too would not tell people at the start, they don't need to know. I would continue to work for some years too before deciding on how I can spend the pot/give away the pot I have been accumulating for retirement. Maybe ensure I have enough for a trip to Dignitas!
Ill health is something I've been considering, not just physical health but mental health - it's all very well me enjoying tinkering with my spreadsheets and numerous accounts but at some point, everything will need to be simplified so that my elderly brain will be able to cope with it!
I hadn't even considered that aspect of it. I also keep looking at my plethora of accounts and thinking I need to write a guide for DH in case anything happens to me and update it at least annually.
DeleteI never considered the "illness" side of this question as it wasn't stated, but you are right it would change plans considerably. I think everyone would take a short sharp end of a long and painful demise. Makes it even more of a depressing thought experiment! :(
ReplyDeleteIt is a bit depressing, it has injected a dose of realism into my plans that was lacking. I've done scenario planning before but I didn't consider this.
Delete